


Of Motherhood and Monsters

by hamstercheese7



Category: One Piece
Genre: Character Study, Family, Feelings, Gen, Motherhood, Philosophy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25929331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamstercheese7/pseuds/hamstercheese7
Summary: A character study on what it means to be a parent from the perspective of Dadan.This was a giveaway prize for the Women! Wanted Zine.
Relationships: Dadan & Monkey D. Luffy, Dadan & Portgas D. Ace, Dadan & Sabo (One Piece), Dadan Family & Monkey D. Garp
Kudos: 34





	Of Motherhood and Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Giveaway Prize for @RedHairRants on twitter for the Women! Wanted Zine.

“Eat shit you monster!” the little brat snarled at her as she tried to dump him in the bath. Her attempt was unsuccessful as he squirmed out of her arms and raced out the door. Dadan’s eye twitched. Fucking ungrateful little shit! But he’d be back later, that she knew. Ace would come back and sleep where he always did, and they’d go on with this dance where he’d be a pain in her ass, and she’d be furious about it and show him who is Boss, and around and around they’d go.

It wasn’t something she’d asked for, but she wasn’t sure if that made it easier or harder to handle.

As the darkness settled around the mountain, the whisper of the wind, the sounds of animals in the dark, Ace’s word sat in her head. Night was the time of monsters. Ace returned and curled up under his blanket. Dadan eyed him in the dark. Did he know she was watching? Did she look like a monster lurking in the dark? 

What did a word like monster mean to a child like Ace? A child many would consider a monster because of his father. Did Ace see Roger as a monster? Did he call her a monster because he saw her like he saw Roger, or because he saw her as the bandit leader she considered herself to be? Dadan left the room, the word sitting heavily in her chest.

The word seemed to haunt her steps as time passed, cropping up in her head when it was least wanted. She never considered herself one of those pompous asshats in Goa’s “Elite District”, people who spent too much time thinking and not enough time in the dirt like the rest of them. Yet the ruminations persisted. Was she a monster? She led a group of mountain bandits, stole money, and killed those who would endanger her operation. Garp wasn’t lying about her crimes list being a mile long. And yet, Garp never saw her the way he saw Celestial Dragons. He never cursed her, or curled his fists in fearsome quiet rage upon seeing her. She made a face as he picked up Ace and carried him screeching into the forest for “marine training”. 

Was Garp a monster? Many would say no, but she wasn’t so sure. He was certainly monstrous in strength, and there was something monstrous in him forcing her to raise a child she never asked for. He wasn’t around as often as the stupid brat probably needed him...and then of course the world might see him as a monster if they knew he took in Ace. And what of Dragon? Was the father as cursed with the sins of his son as the son with the sins of his father? Perhaps it was thoughts like these that showcased why she never wanted to be a mother in the first place. 

Garp had dumped another brat off on her. The little shit glared up at her with animosity in his eyes. He didn’t like that she was a mountain bandit. Perhaps this kid could see what a real monster was, unlike his grandfather. 

A squeal of laughter made her peek around the corner of the house, her hands covered in the blood of the chicken they would be eating for dinner. Luffy had managed to make himself into a swing, by throwing his arm around a low hanging tree branch. An odd sight to be sure. Ace rolled his eyes at him, but sat next to him on his arm as they swung back and forth. She smiled but it slipped off her face as the word bubbled up inside her. The bright smile on Luffy’s face made her bite her lip. Just a few hours before, she’d seen him, Ace, and a child she’d seen before but had yet to meet, run through Gray Terminal, Luffy’s devil fruit powers making people screech in terror and flee.

The first time she heard Sabo speak, she knew he wasn’t cut from the same cloth as her, Ace, or Garp. His words were too neat, too perfectly pronounced, the way he moved spoke of lessons from birth in a way of life she could only look upon from afar. But she saw the shadows of maltreatment in his eyes and the word came to haunt her once more. Monsters were everywhere it seemed. Weren’t mothers supposed to protect their children from them? But she’d never wanted to be a mother, so what did it matter?

It was late as she gazed upon the tiny trio asleep in their tree fort. They were so small, and yet the traps they’d set were good. They’d managed to build this all themselves, a small bubble of pride welling up in her heart. Dadan glanced at the basket of food in her hand. She couldn’t bear to give it to them in person. Couldn’t handle the confusion or rejection in their eyes at her feeble attempts to...what? Parent? She wasn’t a parent...was she? She was the Boss of a fearsome band of mountain bandits. She wielded a battleaxe with ease, she smoked and she swore, people ran from her in fear. She was a monster in the dark, not…

She placed the basket at the foot of the tree.

The smoke from Gray Terminal made her hands sweat and her teeth clench. Dadan knew something was wrong, her instincts screaming at her to find the stupid brats. To make sure they were okay. 

The flames roared and rampaged, the residents ran in abject horror, the air searing the inside of their throats so they couldn’t even scream. But that wasn’t what frightened her. What scared her was that the scream she did hear was one she knew.

Ace.

A Monster of a man stood over him, the flames raging around them making the metal of his weapon look white hot, as it moved down towards two tiny helpless forms. For a moment all she could see were them curled up under blankets in the dark of her home. Their home. 

Dadan charged.

The word blared into her mind, her mouth, her heart as she watched the small ship burn and sink in the harbor, the water churning and bubbling like a gateway to hell had been opened below. Monster, in name, in act, in flesh. But was she not also one for daring to embrace the idea of motherhood into her heart when she was unable to protect one she looked upon as her child? Grief sliced into her chest, cutting deep, and she knew the scars would remain forever. 

She had never wanted to be a mother, and this was why.

She looked in on the sleeping forms of Luffy and Ace, so small, though bigger than she remembered. Would she still look like a monster to them in the dark, or did they see her as… a guardian, a parent, a mother in all but blood? The word monster is rooted somewhere deep, to describe acts and behaviors that are incomprehensible. It should not be reconcilable with the concept of mother, and yet… as she quietly picked up a blanket and tucked it around Ace’s shoulders, perhaps the two cancelled one another out, and revealed what she truly was.

Only human. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written from Dadan's perspective before. I really like her as a character. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do for the prompt I was given. I'd love some feedback. Did she seem in character? Should I have tagged this as angst?
> 
> As I said at the top, this is a giveaway prize for @RedHairRants on twitter for the Women! Wanted Zine. Pre-orders for the zine are open now, and it is going to be awesome! Go check it out!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and you can find me on twitter @buggyisbest


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